Life's funny

I feel like things are about to shift soon... it's funny how things tend to work out. I never lost complete faith that things would get better, but it was definitely difficult to remain positive. Everything was seemingly falling apart around me (obviously evident by my previous post). There were moments in the last several months that were extremely dark, and hopeless. Then all of a sudden- that light at the end of the tunnel appears and anything seems possible again.

I have some possible, life-changing news that I will know more about by next week. Either this is the ticket I've been waiting for, or it's just another dead-end. I have a strange feeling though that this might be it: the stepping stone to the rest of my life in terms of a career. I'm not going to hold my breath though. I've learned all too well the mistake of getting one's hopes and expectations up- only to be let down in the end.

I will keep this blog up to date and current as long as I find the motivation to do so. I feel like a new journey might be unfolding... so I will definitely keep writing as it does.

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It's been too long

It truly has been too long since I've used this blog to express myself. I visit it on occasion and read through the things I've written in the past. I miss writing- but unfortunately, I haven't had much inspiration to write lately. Nothing has really moved me recently... except perhaps the day I got to dive again for the first time in several months. I desperately miss my ocean. It's been too long since I've gone diving for fun. I just don't get down there enough (and by "down there" I mean beneath the waves). I can visit the beach anytime I want and gaze out over the horizon- but until I'm completely submerged in that unpredictable wonderland, I am not truly satisfied.

Lately I have been pre-occupied. Trying to get that dream job where I can work to protect what I love so deeply. It's been too long. I graduated with my Master's degree almost 7 months ago, and I have yet to find a job. As a result, happiness evades me. Sometimes I just want to get on a boat and set sail to the middle of nowhere and forget about everything.

My heart is heavy. And it's been too long since it was light and joyful. I just want to feel free again like I did when I was a kid. No responsibilities, no real consequences, no judgements, no complexities, no predicaments, no bitterness, no resentments. It's been too long since things were "simple." Everything I want and dream of seems so far away. Will it ever be mine? Will I ever feel completely fulfilled and satiated with what life has to offer me?

It's been too long since I've experienced any sense of euphoria or ecstacy. It's just been way too long...

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