Defying synicism

I guess it's that time in life - when everyone seems to be getting married and/or having babies: the mid-20's/early 30's. It's hard to think I was already one of "them." But I'm trying my best not to be synical - hoping and wishing that all of my friends that are getting married or just recently got married, will hold true to their vows: "to love and to cherish, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part." But unfortunately, I know for a fact not everyone makes it. And what I want people to know is: it's okay. Life, if anything, goes on.

I meant them when I said them - those vows. I don't think anyone that gets married ever thinks it won't work in the end. But that's life. Sometimes you just grow apart, and find that there are more differences between you than can be reconciled. People change and evolve every single day. I guess what's important is to make sure you're always on the same page, and that you're growing together in the same direction. Communication (open and often) and trust are probably what I consider to be the two most important facets of a successful relationship. But you also have to have something solid to build upon, like a strong foundation of friendship. You have to let eachother be their own person, but also recognize that the individual parts make up the whole. Having the ability to compromise is important. And by compromise, I don't mean compromising the core beliefs and values that ultimately direct your moral compass; but, knowing and completely accepting the fact that allowing the other person into your life, completely, will inevitably change some things.

I strongly believe that people need to be on similar levels: emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually, mentally... if you're not a match on most of those things - well, time will certainly unveil reality. You should not be blinded by lust, physical attraction, infatuation, etc... there HAS to be something more, something deeper, to fall back on. If not, that type of "love" is just not sustainable in the long-term. And if you don't have ALL of that stuff figured out before you take the plunge... well, I hate to be the one to break it to you... but it probably won't work.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that when I think of a life-long love, one worthy of the institution of marriage, I guess I agree with the following quote:

"True love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another."

And I still believe in it... completely.

But hey... what does anyone really know about love? It's got to be one of the most ridiculous, crazy, beautiful, maddening, life-altering, indefinable emotions I've ever come across. ;-)